Birthdays are for fun! Use these funny birthday quotes to wish your friend, boyfriend/ girlfriend, siblings, and/or parents a Happy Birthday in a hilariously memorable way.
These Birthday Decorations can make your or your loved one’s birthday even more special.
General Funny Birthday Quotes
- Wow, this is the oldest you have ever been. Congratulations and happy birthday.
- You make me grateful for many things, including the fact that I am not as old as you. Wishing you a very special birthday.
- I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.
- Happy birthday! I think it’s great… how you used to be young.
- Everyone gets to be young once. Today it’s official, your turn is over. Happy birthday!
- Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
- If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas! Happy Birthday.
- It’s your special day! Treat me! Oops, I mean yourself. Treat yourself! (But also me.) Happy Birthday!
- If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up. Remember, you can always change your birthday on Facebook! Happy Birthday!
- Be careful. Too many birthdays will kill you. Happy Birthday!
- Don’t let old age get you down! It’s way too hard to get back up. Happy birthday, old pal!
Mean Birthday Messages for Your Brother/ Sister
- Another year older and wiser… or just older in your case. Happy Birthday!
- On your birthday, you should forget the past as it cannot be changed and forget the future because we don’t know what will happen. But what about the present? You may as well forget that too, as I didn’t get you one.
- On your birthday you should count your blessings, because it is much more preferable than counting your wrinkles, and it’ll be quicker. Happy birthday to your, old sis!
- Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
- Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday.
- Older? Definitely. Wiser? …mmm debatable. Happy Birthday!
- A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom, well, in your case, it’s just gray hair. Happy Birthday!
- Smart, good-looking, and funny! But enough about me. Happy birthday!
Rude Birthday Wishes for Best Friend
- I was going to make an old age joke on your birthday, but it’s gotten to the point where it’s getting serious. Happy Birthday.
- You really don’t look your age, you look much older. Happy Birthday!
- There’s a lot about history that I don’t know but thankfully you lived through most of it, so you can teach me. Happy birthday, old pal!
- You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!
- On your birthday you might be thinking “Oh man, I’m getting old”, but don’t worry. Just because you’re old doesn’t mean you won’t still be doing dumb stuff. You’ll just be doing it slower. Happy birthday!
- Let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night. Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday to one old lady who still knows how to party! You rock!
- It’s your birthday, the anniversary of the day you triumphantly escaped from your mother’s womb. So, that’s pretty cool.
- The secret to staying young is makeup… Make up an age, then stick with it! Happy Birthday!
- At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified, and sober. Disappoint them. Happy Birthday!
Sarcastic Birthday Jokes for Parents
- Happy Birthday! I’m your karma!
- Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. Happy Birthday, Dad!
- The best part of being my parent is that I wasn’t around to see you doing stupid stuff. Happy birthday!
- It’s your birthday! Do you know what that means? One year closer to being that old guy who yells at kids “Get off my lawn!”
- You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct! Happy birthday!
- Ah, enough of getting discounts lying about my age. You already look old enough to lie and get senior citizen discounts. Happy Birthday, Dad!
- A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom. Happy Birthday!
- Happy Birthday, Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you… but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.
- Happy birthday, mom! No matter what life throws at you, at least you can be grateful you don’t have ugly children. From, the pretty one!
Funny Birthday Quotes for Your Boyfriend/ Girlfriend
- I really tried to get you something super special and brilliant for your birthday but I just couldn’t wrap myself up. Happy birthday from the best boyfriend in the world.
- Happy birthday! I hope you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one, naked and screaming.
- Happy birthday to you, love! I can’t wait until we’re old enough to be terrorizing our neighbor kids together!
- Happy birthday to a guy who still isn’t showing his age… and definitely not acting it.
- For your special day, I’ve sent you a truly gracious present. It’s a ghost hug! You can’t feel it, but it is definitely there. Happy birthday!
- Good thing I found you! Because to be honest, I think we both know you couldn’t find glasses if they were on your face, girl. Happy Birthday!
- Thanks for being such a great guy! Great big, that is. Happy birthday, sweetheart!
- On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship… and all that stuff that doesn’t cost *me* anything. Happy Birthday, Girl!
Funny Belated Birthday Quotes
- I’m so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy belated birthday.
- I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!
- Happy Birthday! Don’t think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here’s wishing you a wonderful year ahead.